In The End
by I Dream of Rising Light
Summary: I forgot what day it was. How long we've been running. If life was even worth it anymore. One-shot.


**Author's Note:** I live! Oh my gosh! I have not posted in years! I am so sorry to those who have been reviewing my Left 4 Dead story. Sighs. Life has just been so crazy, haven't had internet and ugh! But anyways, my writing has improved and I am debating what to do with my other story, or I have written up to fourteen chapters of a new Left 4 Dead story, perhaps I should upload that for you guys...Anyways! I feel so horrid about leaving you all in the dust, so here is a one shot that hopefully satisfies you snazzy people until I figure out what to do. Rated M for uses of the F bomb lol.

**Disclaimer:** I only own my OC.

I sat on the dirty table, my eyes staring at what was to be called the safe house door. Were we really safe in these rooms? Was that metal door _really_ our shield from what was out there? Pfft. I would love to see that door withstand an angry Tank. Actually, I take that back. No I would not. I shivered at the thought and ran my hands up my arms feeling the prickles along my skin. My dirty skin. I was filthy, we all were. I could still feel the thick hard chunks of Boomer puke clinging in strands of my stringy hair. I hesitantly reached up to scratch my scalp and cringed when I felt the dried and hard puke chunks chip underneath my already dirty nails.

The last safe house we were in a few days ago had a shower, but no hot water. I didn't care. I jumped in that dirty bathtub so fast I nearly slid in the old water that had built up from the dripping faucet and froze my ass off under the ice cold water. It was so refreshing, I didn't care that I shivered for an hour. I had Ellis to keep me warm when we slept that night. I swallowed hard, resting my blood stained hands in my lap.

_Ellis_. He made me so nervous. It was like he thought of this whole outbreak as a game, and some of his actions were so reckless. He almost got sucker punched by a pissed off Tank back at the swamps, and that was instant heart attack mode. I swear it only missed him by a few inches. My eyes dropped down to my small hands, the blood stains escalating up my arms. We found another survivor today, but he didn't make it. We heard screaming, a Hunter screeching, but when we hurried inside the rundown house, there was already a pool of blood forming underneath the man. Coach had shot the pouncing bastard in the head ending its infected life, while Ellis and I hurried over to him.

We tried so hard to see if there could be any chance at life, but all I saw was red. When I tried to pry off the rest of his shirt to inspect him, it was like a red waterfall ran down over my pale skin. The Hunter had torn up his torso and the man died right in front of us. I didn't cry, none of us did. Did that show us that we weren't human anymore? That we weren't capable of feeling now? Was it because we were so fucking use to taking the lives of what use to be living humans that seeing an actual human die was just expected or normal?

I was crying now, and I didn't notice it at first. I didn't have any emotion on my face, felt nothing in my chest. I watched a single tear drop splash on my knuckle and I blinked. I couldn't feel anymore. I didn't _want_ to feel anymore. If this was how life was going to stay, I didn't want to live. My eyes drifted over to the loaded rifle I had next to my thigh. I was taking watch, and it was so still outside, so silent. I hated it. I'm so use to hearing bullets, screeches, wails, moans and groans reminding me there is still life outside, even if it's fucked up. There is still something alive in its own twisted way.

Can they feel? Can an infected feel anything? Pain maybe, obviously not remorse. All they want to do is kill and feed. They are wild animals. What if one of us ends up like that? I can't see Coach or Rochelle like that, not even Nick and Nick is a fucking asshole. If Ellis had gotten infected, I would be defeated. I can't even picture him like one of those things, with blood dripping down his chin, grey lifeless eyes staring at you with hunger.

I swallowed hard letting out a small whimper on accident and nearly jumped right out of my skin when I felt a warm hand on my back. I gasped loudly, jumping on the table as my hand shot out to my rifle and gripped it before I swung around at a ridiculous speed I only gained from living in this fucked up world. "Woah there!" I froze as at that voice, a hand much larger than my own grabbing the rifle and turning it to the side gently in my hands. My eyes shot up to see Ellis, his dirty face in the dim lights from the lanterns we had found in the room.

I let out a breath I was unaware I was holding and closed my eyes briefly in relief as I set down the gun. "You scared me." I whispered and he let out a snort. "Didn't notice. I'm sorry girl." I opened my eyes and I saw his brows lowering as he watched me. "You alright?" What a silly question and we all have the same answer, but we all know it's a lie. "I'm fine." No, no I wasn't. None of us were. In reality we were absolutely fucked just as long as we continued to torture ourselves in this world. His frown eased a bit, but his worry was still clear on his face. When Ellis was feeling a certain emotion, it was very clear in his eyes and on his gorgeous face.

He chewed on his lip slightly before he turned to the safe house door looking through the bars. "It's weird not hearin' nothin'." I nodded following his gaze. The moon was only half full and I almost wanted a horde to appear at the door just so the silence would stop. I felt my eyelids lower slightly, but not from fatigue. I just felt so hopeless, so ready to give up. I could almost feel the bullet entering my skull. "Ellis?" I asked quietly, but I knew he heard me as he glanced at me. "Mm?" He hummed and I swallowed slowly.

"Do you think it's worth it?" I asked pausing briefly to inhale through my nose. The air was crisp and I felt more goosebumps erupt over my arms. "Worth living like this?" I shivered slightly and saw him move from my peripheral vision. If I didn't know he was already here with me I would have jumped again when I felt his strong arms wrap around me from behind. His hands rubbed my arms a few times to warm my frozen skin, before he lowered his hands into my lap taking my hands in his.

"We're alive aren't we? I say we're doin' a pretty good job." I leaned back against him soaking in his warmth, my head on his hard shoulder. "I don't know anymore." I whispered feeling defeat heavy on my body like a thick blanket. "Don't you talk like that 'Lilah, you're scarin' me." He said in my ear making me shiver. My throat was dry and when I swallowed it felt like sand paper. "I ain't gunna' let nothin' happen to ya, I got ya." He reassured as confidently as he could, but I wasn't sure if I could believe him. "Anything could happen to us at _any_ time Ellis, we don't know how it will be for us every day." I said gripping onto his hands in mine.

He squeezed them back and leaned the side of his face in my hair completely ignoring the fact that I was fucking hurled on by a Boomer. I hate those mutated beach balls. "I know, but I promise I will do all I can to protect you." My heart swelled at that. What could I say to that? He was so confident, and he was a great shot, Hell even Nick said so and that's saying something. I gave in. "Okay." I whispered simply and I felt a soft kiss against my temple. "You're really kissing me when I'm Boomer-fied?" I heard him chuckle and it was music to my ears. "I don't care. We've all been puked on. Could be worse..." He muttered and I rose my brows still looking out the bars of the door.

"And what the fuck could be worse than Boomer bile?" I nearly yelled and I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Tank puke o'course! I mean, that would be like, the most powerful puke in the universe." Did that even make sense? I laughed. I laughed for the first time in weeks, and it was a genuine laugh. I felt him smile in my hair, before he leaned over to the side and got right in my face. I blinked and turned to him before feeling his warm lips pressed against mine in a gentle shy kiss. "Let's get some rest, Nick can take watch next." He whispered against my lips and I smiled lightly feeling the pieces of my hope slowly being pieced back together just from that one little kiss.

"Won't he be pissed that we interrupted his beauty sleep?" I asked as I slid off the table, Ellis quickly snaking an arm around my waist. He grinned running a hand through his messy hair as he slipped his filthy hat off his head. "That's the point, Nick is a funny old man when he's pissed off." I snorted, but nodded. Perhaps there is some desire to live, at least for just a little while longer.

**Authors Note:** Like? Hate? Boomer!? Heh, hope this pleased someone. I will decide what I should do with my other story, but thank you guys for reading!


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